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  • Writer's pictureCoach Moe

Habits; She Gave Me the Look

Updated: Sep 22, 2019

Soon after we were seated at dinner with a couple we never met before I engaged them in conversation. Sometimes on cruises you have no idea who you will be eating with. They were younger than my wife and I and were on their first cruise. We talked and ate and drank. I was having a great time, but my wife would every now and then give me THE LOOK.



We all have habits. Some of our habits are good and some are bad. Sometimes it depends on how others perceive the habits or when and where the habits show themselves. When I was younger I used to hear people say “ the force of habit”. That would be the excuse or reason for a particular action. Now as an adult, (which is apparent because of my lower back pain) I know more about habits and understand that there is truly a force. But why was I getting THE LOOK at dinner?


Later on, that evening once we returned to the room I was let in on the reason behind THE LOOK. At that point in my life I had been an active duty Soldier in the US Army for 11 years and had recently returned from my second year in Iraq. In the military many of us were a little less filtered in our communication. Four lettered words were free to roam in our conversations. However, my wife apparently didn’t appreciate such liberal language in front of people we had just met at dinner. I honestly didn’t even realize how much profanity I used. I must admit that I am very fluent in the profane arts at times. It was THE FORCE OF HABIT. A habit is formed over time by performing certain behaviors repetitively. After a while it just becomes something that you do without even thinking about it.


How do you change your habits? The first thing that you have to do is come up with a result that is really important to you. If the result isn’t something that you believe will have a large impact on your life, you probably won’t change your habit. So, pick something that is a big deal to you. I still use colorful language, but I’m more selective and conscious about it. Do you know why? It’s because it isn’t a big enough deal for me completely stop.


Let’s switch the focus to starting a good habit. Let’s say a person wants to get in better shape. Perhaps because the doctor tells her that if she loses weight she and her husband would have a higher likelihood of becoming pregnant. That’s a pretty significant reason for changing her behaviors. She is more likely to repeat the behaviors that will help her cause.

It is said that it takes 21 days of a repeated behavior to become a habit. The goal is to perform a particular task so regularly that it no longer requires a thought. I see a lot of people that start working out and stop and start again just to stop. The good thing is they start. But, if you and I really want to create a better habit we need to put that 21- day theory to the test. Outline a list of behaviors that will help you to become more fit. One of the easiest is to find a workout program that works for you. Schedule your workout days and select a start date. It’s important to schedule your first 21 days and see to it that you stick to the plan.


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